We meet with our Soul Friend at least twice a year. The Soul Friend gives guidance on two disciplines which the Order considers to be important: 1) Regular retreats: The outworking of this depends on the individual's own lifestyle, but we encourage regular days of quiet and reflection, and also an annual retreat. 2) Pilgrimage: The Celtic Christians knew two kinds of pilgrimage. The most commonly known form of pilgrimage is to tread in the shoes of Christ or his saints in order to make contact with the many rich experiences which are to do with being a pilgrim. Such pilgrimages draw us into deeper devotion to our Lord Jesus and will inspire us to mission. In North America, members might seek out communities of prayer such as monastic foundations and retreat centers. However, the Order also recommends pilgrimage to sites of the Celtic Christian tradition in Europe, such as Iona and Lindisfarne, when possible. The second form of pilgrimage was peculiar to the Celtic Christians. Referred to sometimes as "White Martyrdom," it entailed leaving home, family and land to become wanderers for Christ, peregrenati pro Christi. The most famous of such Celtic pilgrims was St. Columbanus who brought revival to the church in Gaul (France) and whose companions introduced the Gospel in parts of Central Europe. This form of pilgrimage is characterized by taking risks for God. Such risk taking can include taking new directions in worship, in ministry, in exercising the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Soul Friends give guidance about different ways of making pilgrimage.
What exactly is a Soul Friend? The anmchara (also spelled anamchara by various authors), as the Irish called the soul friend, seems to have been a combination of close friend, spiritual director and mentor. In the current revival of Celtic Christian spirituality, the role of the soul friend seems to cause a great deal of confusion. Will my spiritual director also serve as my soul friend in the Order of St. Aidan? The Rev. Ray Simpson's new book Soul Friendship addresses both the history and practical aspects of this relationship. Another article on the subject appeared in Cistercian Studies Quarterly written by Dr. Edward Sellner, author of Wisdom of the Celtic Saints, Soulmaking, and Mentoring: A ministry of spiritual kinship, all books which provide valuable information on the Celtic Christian tradition. Dr. Sellner has granted us kind permission to summarize his article, however, we do recommend reading the original if you have access to the Cistercian journal. All quotes which follow, unless otherwise noted, are from Dr. Sellner's article, "A Common Dwelling: Soul Friendship in Early Celtic Monasticism."
Dr. Sellner traces the development of the soul friend in the Celtic tradition from two sources: the lives of the desert fathers and mothers and the druid in pre-Christian Celtic society. The eastern desert life, pioneered by St. Anthony, was a flight from the corrupt society of the Roman empire in which the world appeared to be leavening the church instead of the other way around. A brief description of their lifestyles and their motives for retiring to the desert would make it appear that these Christians rejected human companionship as a means of growing closer to God. Citing several of the stories of the desert saints, Sellner points to the deep affection these hermits shared for one another and their abiding concern to assist their companions in the way of holiness.
The druid in Celtic culture also served as mentor and colleague, people whose wisdom played an essential role in the ordering of tribal life. The druids "functioned as mediators between the tribes and the spiritual realm..."
After exploring the roots of the soul friend tradition, Sellner lists seven qualities of the soul friend relationship that are most helpful as we try to recover the values and character of Celtic Christian spirituality. To go into these qualities in any depth would be simply to reproduce Dr. Sellner's article verbatim, therefore, we offer this brief summary.
Great affection: The soul friend relationship was a personal relationship rather than professional or technical.
Mutuality: The soul friend relationship was not hierarchical. Though there were sometimes elements of the master-disciple relationship, the persons involved primarily considered themselves as companions along the way. It is a relationship of mutual blessing.
Common Values and Common Vision: While we may expect that common values are essential to any mentoring relationship, the common vision referred to is the vision of reality. Sellner cites a meeting between Ciaran and Enda in which both share a vision of a great tree covering and protecting Ireland and dropping its fruit in the lands beyond the sea. Enda interprets the vision as Ciaran's place in the work of the Gospel. Ciaran goes on to found a monastic community at Clonmacnois, which in turn provides many missionary monks.to challenge one another springs from the trust and affection of deep friendship rather than from an unequal relationship.
God Centered: The relationships are "centered on God, the soul friend in whom all other friendships are united. True soul friends do not depend on each other alone, but root their relationship in God."
Transcends Geographical Separation, Passage of Time, Even Death: C.S. Lewis once noted that friendships, unlike mere acquaintances, survive separation of time and place. For the Celt, who saw the border between this world and the next as very thin indeed, even death could not break the bond established in soul friendship.
Values Both Companionship and Solitude: The balance between community and solitude is often missing in our times. The Celts saw that both elements were integral parts of spiritual formation. For this reason both the discipline of retreat and the discipline of pilgrimage are part of this element of the Way of Life.
